The Word Odyssey

1  As the word odyssey comes from Odysseus, I began to wonder how the events of my life, over the twenty year period from 1971 to 1991, with all its changes of fortune, compared to Odysseus' story. Itself the most epic voyage, I was looking for a suitable format, and discovered a remarkable resemblance. This is what this chapter portrays, more the prehistory before Dionysus, while at the same time showing a distinction to the number 11: why it begins in chapter 11. Thus I've broken it into two parts, the first part representing the ten year Trojan War (10) and, its ultimate victory (n66), and the second part representing the ten years Odysseus wandered (10) before returning home: i.e., 10 + 01 = 11 (n4:106). You can decide for yourself:

2  So you may be asking how Odysseus is tied to Dionysus? Like Christ, Dionysus is known as King of Kings (n2:8), and being only half-god, he has a closer affinity to the natural world, which in the spiritual sense is portrayed as the sea (n12:37; n15:23). Thus giving him a closer affinity to Poseidon, which helps to explain many of his epiphanies (n5:13). While the sea is often stormy and unpredictable, and can be used to describe the state of limbo experienced by those destined for heaven: a sense of alienation from the world. And so Odysseus had to come to terms with Poseidon and, perhaps even Dionysus? I should also mention Odysseus' relation to Penelope (n4:102), which speaks of the highest ideal of marriage, indeed, heaven itself. Much as Dionysus—the divine androgyny (n4:105)—was the only god to remain monogamous. So of all the kings on earth, I would deem Odysseus was a favorite . . . King of Kings? Or, at least this was the contention of Athena (n91), the goddess of wisdom.

San Jose, California

3  My story begins in San Jose, California. And San Jose, which is Spanish for St. Joseph, was named specifically after the stepfather of Christ. Yet I like to extend it back to the original Joseph, the patriarch and 11th son of Jacob, for St. Joseph's father was also named Jacob. Matthew 1:16  And in the Forgotten Books of Eden, a book containing missing scripture, it says the Messiah will be born in accord with Joseph: in the Testament of Benjamin. There's also a third St. Joseph, Joseph of Arimathea, who entails The Resurrection: who, took Christ's body off the cross and placed it in his own tomb. Matthew 27:57-60  Luke 23:50-53  While according to medieval legend, he was St. Mary's uncle, and is told of traveling to Great Britain with his great nephew Jesus, who was but a youth. In a latter account he's accredited with establishing the first Christian Church in Great Britain, giving some credence to what I said about Joseph's son Ephraim representing Great Britain in the last chapter (n10:9). He's also equated with the legend of the Holy Grail.

4  In his own time, the original Joseph was himself a savior, and his story is told in Genesis 37-50. He was known for saving the whole of Egypt and, the House of Israel from famine, with his counsel to Pharaoh. Genesis 41-47  In fact were it not for the deeds of this one man, the world as we know it would not exist (n10:1). Such was the pivotal nature of his life.

5  In getting back to San Jose, California, a very similar story can be told. This is where the electronics industry has blossomed and flourished, what we know as Silicon Valley. And were it not for this industry, our world would still be shrouded in darkness: Silicon Valley being the light to the world. Indeed many breakthroughs and innovations have been developed through this industry. And so it seems fitting that it be done in accord with Joseph. It's also interesting to know there's an Egyptian Museum in San Jose which, as far as I know, is the only one in the United States: i.e., Joseph died and was buried in Egypt.

Two Sycamore Trees

6  I spent much of my youth in San Jose, up until the age of fifteen, about nine years altogether. This is where the story of Odysseus begins, and where my journey begins. I also like to tie in the stories of King David and King Manasseh, and of course Dionysus, which I'll explain as I proceed. At the time I was living with my mother and sister, in a duplex apartment, built like a mirror image on both sides. And over a period of five-and-a-half years, we lived on both sides. The addresses were 2009 and 2011 Lynnhaven Drive, and outside in the front, one on each side, were two huge sycamore trees which, as far as I know, was the only duplex in the area arrayed this way. And there were lots of duplexes.

7  I wouldn't ordinarily give the street name, but it's integral to what I have to say. For the name Lynn means pool of water or, waterfall. It's also my sister's middle name. Thus Lynnhaven means an oasis of water, of sorts. And in the Lost Books of the Bible, often bound with The Forgotten Books of Eden, I recall Christ thrusting his staff at the base of a sycamore tree and a stream of water gushed forth. And so a direct correlation to sycamore trees and water and, the name Lynnhaven.

8  And in Revelation 11:3-4, it speaks of the Two Witnesses, which are the two olive trees—and candlesticks—that stand before God. And so I'm drawing a similar correlation to the two sycamore trees. Thus we're speaking of the left side and right side, which come together as a whole: i.e., both sides of the brain. And here I had lived on both sides of the duplex. It also signifies Aquarius—The Water Bearer, the 11th sign of the zodiac, which is further illustrated in Penelope (11) (n4:107), as well as chapter 8 (n13).

9  Another thing occurs when these two addresses, 2009 and 2011, and dividing it by 2. The number you come up with is 2010, which corresponds to the 7th Church: as detailed in chapters 1 (n38) and 2 (n17) and, in Judith (12) (n4:116). And, when adding 2010, and its reciprocal—0102—you get 2112. Which happens to be the number of the bank card I received while living in Southern Oregon, at the US Bank of all places. And, in accord with Joseph (11), it occurred in Josephine County (n12:6). And I immediately understood its significance, and drew the correlation to the address at Lynnhaven Drive.

Changing Schools

10  Up until the age of twelve-and-a-half, I led a happy and carefree existence, not unlike the biblical David in his youth; and this neighborhood was my kingdom. Dionysus too was relatively innocent and happy as a child. It wasn't until I started another school, junior high, that my life began to diminish. This is when the spoiled rich kids came into the picture, I was from a poor background like David, and peer pressure, which I'd had very little of. Thus when in grade school, there was a genuine camaraderie between the kids, and a sense of fair play. Which all but disappeared when I got to junior high. The rich kids from across town were absolute tyrants, and demanding and demeaning towards people like me. And I soon began to feel insecure and started to become withdrawn: what I view as the beginning of my corruption. Similarly, Manasseh, the corrupt king of Judah, began to reign at the age of twelve. 2 Kings 21 2 Chronicles 33

11  My situation was also compounded by my mother's problems, for she'd recently spent some time in the mental hospital, and was ill-equipped to deal with my growing up. She had no influence in the outside world and very little influence at home. My father wasn't there either, for he and my mother divorced when I was four: he was living with my stepmother, essentially what set things off with my mother. So after spending a day in the crazy world, there was nobody I could relate to when I got home, and I was basically on my own. Needless to say mine was a dysfunctional family. Nor was I unlike an orphan.

12  When entering high school, I got into drugs and started doing anti-social things with my friends, the few that I had. My grades, which had been respectable, began to deteriorate, and I started doing some pretty strange things. I was unlike my friends though, in that they were very rebellious towards their parents—or, plain authority! But because their families were relatively stable, though they represented the establishment, with its inherent hypocrisy, most of it was absorbed—as much as it hurt. And they would go out into the world and raise hell and get into trouble, with the police if nothing else, and not worry about the consequences. Their parents were there to bail them out.

13  My friends were also less inhibited when it came to exploring the new and unusual: i.e., sex, drugs and rock and roll. I didn't have as much freedom, for I had to play it relatively straight or middle-of-the-road, though I was as crazy as they were in most respects, just more introverted. And with them I played the part of the whore. And being very destroyed, my mother couldn't handle the idea of me getting into trouble—of any kind! In fact she threatened to call the police a number of times, at the slightest provocation! This was the extent of her authority at home. While I admit I was afraid of the real world.

14  And so she had handed her own life over to the authorities, mental health, welfare, etc., and had this incredible awe towards them. She would give up almost anything she was told or, hand over to someone else what she couldn't handle, which was me! And I despised her greatly because of this, but couldn't effectively rebel—or conform—and wound up repressing my hostilities. While she continually tried to evoke a sense of sympathy from me or, anyone else, for her state of misery: she was that desperate.

Enter Dionysus

15  It's funny but I see a parallel here, between Dionysus, his mother Semele, and Hera and Zeus (n5:15). For Semele was destroyed or, sent to hell—which, is not unlike a mental hospital—when Zeus revealed himself to her; before going back and assuming his place with Hera. It can also be said my mother was very unstable, or at least naive, like Semele, before she met my father. And as the myth goes, Dionysus was driven mad, at Hera's bidding, when he approached manhood or, puberty?

16  So in the relationship my father had with my stepmother, my mother was destroyed and, through the relationship I had with my mother, I was driven mad, so to speak. Which was conceivably done at my stepmother's bidding, who consented to stay with my father: both were aware of my mother's problems, which had a direct impact on me. And here, the preface of my father's name, Theo, whose name was Theodore, is nearly the same as Theos, a name interchangeable with Zeus. While my stepmother's name, Wilma (n5:11), suggests something similar: Mother of all Wills. Certainly it could be perceived as a title for Hera! And Hera was known for her jealousy, and exacting revenge, which often resulted in madness (n5:15). Indeed this is what happened to me, as I became destitute of worldly things, i.e., the things my friends had. And over the next few years I became very jealous of people, and despised everyone greatly! My mother's curse was similar, as she became destitute and consumed with jealousy. There was no escaping Hera's wrath!

Helen of Troy

17  So here I stood in the middle of the sewer, in my mind, and the stage was set. I was on the threshold of this horrendous battle, about to be fought on behalf of my soul and, on behalf of mankind, as this book might attest. And here was Odysseus, standing on his beloved soil of Ithaca, about to be inducted as a leader of this campaign. While it's funny how he feigned madness to fool those who besought him. For an oracle had warned him of his fate if he were to go to Troy, that he wouldn't return for twenty years, and alone and destitute when he did. And I remember doing something similar with my friends, pretending to be crazy, to keep from going on some of their escapades. And as his battle was fought over Helen, who in effect was his landlady—many a Greek prince sought her hand in marriage, while the whole of Greece identified with her—it only seems fitting that my landlady on Lynnhaven Drive be named Helen. And it was!

18  So I've identified a Helen at this time, and the next logical question becomes: Was there a Penelope? in accord with Odysseus' wife. Indeed there was! It was my sister's best friend, Penny, short for Penelope, who also lived on Lynnhaven Drive, a few doors down. I had no special interest towards Penny, however, nor did I know her well, though I was good friends with her younger brother. But in looking back, I can see what she symbolized most: the loss of innocence. I remember taking notice of her when she started to grow up though, just before moving, and remember having a mild crush of her—which nearly sufficed!

19  In getting back to Helen of Troy, she was actually the queen of Sparta, meaning she wasn't the queen of Greece. While I first understood her to be the queen of Athens, a more correct assumption. Thus it's interesting that San Jose has a college football team—The San Jose State Spartans! And when considering the sport of football, it brings to mind a state of warfare, and the Spartans of ancient Greece were widely known for this. It's also significant that Penelope was from Sparta, which suggests a closer connection between Odysseus and Helen—his landlady. And here, Penelope was a second cousin to Helen.

Santa Rosa, California

20  The notion of this is further substantiated by more recent events in Santa Rosa, after I moved back from Oregon in 1990 (n437; n12:75). I accepted a permanent job at Weigh-Tronix Corporation, formerly N.C.I. (n8:2), in September 1991, doing electronics assembly, after working as a temporary for seven months (n437-39). Just before that, one of the women I worked with, whose name was Helen, was promoted and put in charge over part of the department: i.e., Helen was the queen of Sparta, not Greece. It's funny, because it occurred one or two weeks after I started working on this chapter, nearly 20 years since I left San Jose (n1). And shortly afterwards I was transferred under Helen's charge, making her my immediate supervisor! What's more, I found out her husband's name was Joseph—of all things! Was it just a coincidence? (n1:20).

21  And so it's fitting that I bring up Santa Rosa, for it's integral to what I have to say. It represents the thread that ties together the events over the past 20 years. This is where my story begins, with my moving to Santa Rosa, and ends with my moving back: where everything comes full circle. While the focus remains on the events of my youth in San Jose and, Odysseus' return. And, even though Odysseus returns to Ithaca, to clean house so to speak, he doesn't remain.

22  In getting back to San Jose, in late 1971, my friend Nathan had visited Santa Rosa for the first time, and was telling of his exploits there: of all the sex-crazed girls running around loose. I had known Nathan before going to junior high. Therefore when my mother approached me—only a week two later—and asked if I wanted to move to Santa Rosa, how could I pass it up? And, although I had relatives in Santa Rosa, I had never been there, nor did I know much about the place. This was definitely an omen, that I wondered about at the time, but didn't make much of it. And in looking back, it was the first time this ever happened. Then again, Nathan was the prophet to King David.

Torn to Pieces

23  And so my journey begins, at the onset of the Trojan War, with my moving to Santa Rosa; as Odysseus sets sail for Troy. Of course I was only fooling myself, for I had problems relating with girls: due to problems with my mother, as well as a devastating case of acne. And here it was actually King Manasseh being carried off to Babylon, and so appropriate that I equate Manasseh with David, for he was of David's lineage or, dynasty of Judean kings nearing its end. Which seems fitting for Babylon is called the great whore in Revelation 17-18. And, this is the kind of impression Nathan gave me of Santa Rosa. I was sure I'd get lucky here.

24  Well Santa Rosa pretty much turned out as Nathan said, except I wasn't better off for moving here—in fact I was totally miserable for the next two-and-a-half years. And being a very beautiful area, that's since been overdeveloped, with a heightened sense of romance about it, it only added to my suffering. And the girls did seem to run around under a manic spell, i.e., nymphomania. And there were drugs, and wealth, the likes of which I hadn't seen. And so because of his whoredoms, Manasseh was delivered to the great whore to the north, Babylon—with all her opulence—where he was thoroughly outclassed. Thus feeling alienated, and unable to make friends, I became withdrawn. At least I had friends in San Jose, and was relatively happy there: i.e., Manasseh's place was still in Jerusalem. Here, I couldn't deal with the affluence of the people, and the relative ease by which sleeping partners were chosen. And this was in high school!

25  I soon became afraid of people, while my acne had become acute. Though it was mostly on my back and chest, I was completely obsessed. I still had to disrobe in gym, besides, what kind of woman wanted to go to bed with something so detestable! i.e., what obsessed me so much. I felt like the lowest piece of excrement to walk the earth, and completely torn to pieces over it. And in the myth, Dionysus was torn to pieces by the Titans, who boiled his flesh and began roasting it (n5:16). Which oddly enough approximates my malady. For I was emotionally embroiled—as if on fire—and my flesh appeared covered with boils. From boiling in a pot? It was that severe.

26  And so brings up the movie, Mask, about the young man whose face was grotesquely disfigured from a bone disease, based on the true story. Who indeed appeared to be wearing a mask! And at the end of the movie when he died, it showed his name written on a gravestone, which said: Roy L. Dennis. Royal Dennis? When I saw this I was aghast, for it portrays the relationship between Roy Masters and myself; while the mask itself, as a symbolic object, was a principle cult object of Dionysus—i.e., where the name Dennis comes from! To me it sets a precedent, and is none other than divinely revealed.

27  How often I felt I wore such a mask as a teenager, to mask over my emotions! And in school, the kids seemed to fit in one of two groups: the rebels, who were into sex, drugs and music—and violence—and the conformists, who went along with the curriculum, and did what they were told. I didn't really fit in with either and, coupled with my acne, I couldn't relate to what was happening. Therefore I masked over my feelings—which, was most of the time. I also got the impression from the movie that this young man grew up about the same time I did, in the early seventies.

Santa Rosa High

28  My suffering became heightened during my first year in Santa Rosa, where I finished my sophomore year, after moving in the middle of the school year. It began to ease when I changed schools, away from the rich kids, and I finished my last two years at Santa Rosa High. It was in my last year that I met a girl in art class, whose name I won't give for obvious reasons. It was because of her that my life began to change for the better. Like me, she had problems with her parents when growing up. And she told me this horrible story of how her father raised her and began molesting her when she was very young. And allowed his friends, who were several I believe, to do the exact same thing. And I understood it was an ongoing thing. So much for being a whore in Santa Rosa!—i.e., my glorification of it.

29  I really liked this young woman, who was very mature for her age. She had to grow up early! Unlike the other students, she was understanding and very forgiving towards me. She was definitely different—basically unselfish, and not caught up in appearances like everyone else. She was also into self-help books, and psychology, which is what stirred my interest in these things. And so things began to change, and I started coming out of my shell. And I consciously started doing better in school, and stopped smoking, and began to lose interest in drugs. And for the first time I felt I wanted to do something with my life. It was a start!

30  I view this as Manasseh coming to terms with his situation—how he humbles himself and repents—before he's returned to Jerusalem. If not for this, I probably wouldn't have left my mother and her misery, and led an unhappy life. Though it hasn't been until recently, about 20 years since leaving San Jose, in accord with Odysseus and, a lot of tragedy, that my life has come together. Within a month after graduating from high school I left home and went back to San Jose, i.e., Manasseh returned to Jerusalem, to start a job training program.

San Jose Job Corps

31  Well I made it back to San Jose, and was being trained through the San Jose Job Corps. Arrangements were made through the Human Resources Development of Santa Rosa, located at the unemployment office. I was told I'd be trained as an electronics technician, which is why I enrolled. However, it wasn't meant to be, for the arrangements hadn't been finalized at the local business college. I had to settle for the electronics assembly course instead.

32  It was just as well, for the Job Corps is the last place a person should go if he wants to better himself. It was at that time anyway. It was more of an internment center or last resort, for the majority there. Most had dropped out of school and were there to get their GED's, though they had little or no interest in learning. There were other courses available, such as auto-mechanics, welding, nursing, etc., but it was primarily another costly government excuse for playing baby-sitter. Thus catering to the juvenile delinquents and misfits, most likely by-products of the welfare system as I was, about to be sprung onto society as adults—i.e., before going to jail. This was also confirmed by Helen at work, when I let her read a copy of this. She said her son had also gone to the Job Corps in another state, and shared a similar experience—except he really got screwed over.

33  I found out the technician course wasn't available when I got there, and the only thing similar was the assembly course: a six week course that was about half over when I enrolled. But I caught up with the rest of the class in two or three days, with my previous experience in electronics class in high school. As a result, I was only there a month before graduating—with highest distinction. It was then time to leave, which was none too soon. It was a dreadful place, full of hopelessness and the constant threat of violence; and I began to feel what it was like to be incarcerated. Here was the bottom of the pit, as Joseph was cast into a pit (n6:112; n9:7), and it was full of vipers!

34  One thing unusual about the place I stayed, is it was a dormitory on 11th street: i.e., I had just moved back to San Jose, in accord with Joseph and, the number 11. Another thing is that it was only a block away from the San Jose State campus: in accord with the San Jose State Spartans mentioned earlier! (n19).