23rd Residence

Out of Gas

390  After I drove my truck from Willits, I just crossed the Sonoma County line when I ran out of gas. I was still out in the middle of nowhere, and it was another ten miles to Cloverdale. But I remembered I had three-quarters of a gallon of white gas left from the backpack stove, and thought it was worth a try. So I put it in the tank and sure enough the truck started. And while I managed to make it to Cloverdale, with the needle sitting on empty, I didn't have any money for gas. So I parked in a residential area about a half-block from the gas station and began hitchhiking to Santa Rosa.

391  Although Santa Rosa was only 60 miles away, it took at least three hours to get to my mother's house. It wasn't easy getting somebody to stop and give me a ride. When I got to my mother's house, I asked for money for gas and began hitchhiking back to Cloverdale. But I only got as far as the freeway exit, and waited at least two hours, to no avail. So I walked back to the house and called my uncle in Sebastopol, and asked if he could give me a ride. My uncle stopped by shortly afterwards and we drove to Cloverdale. While on the way we discussed my situation, and he said he had no problem if I wanted to stay at their house for awhile. So my 23rd residence involved moving in with my aunt and uncle in Sebastopol, California for the next few months.

Cousin Pentheus

392  One of the main highlights of my staying here was my relationship with my cousin. For up until now, I haven't mentioned anything about Dionysus' relationship with his cousin Pentheus. Indeed, why bother to bring up the myth without mentioning something so integral. It began after I started working on some of the symbolism in this book, more specifically the Star of David or, hexagram inside a circle. We were then watching a movie together, called The Believers, a very intense movie with Martin Sheen, about the religion called Santeria, which is a cross between Voodoo and Catholicism.

393  And at one point I was so wound up and, with fists clenched and a grimace on my face, I exclaimed, Yes! Which could easily have been mistaken for an acknowledgment of the evil in the movie. But it was really the acknowledgement of it in myself, and my rising to meet it. It was like, "Yes, I acknowledge this, and I'm going to fight it!" As I said it was very intense. Shortly afterwards we both went to the store to buy some pop and potato chips. We paid separately and mine came out to $3.34, and I gave the lady a ten dollar bill. And when she gave me back the change, I turned to my cousin and cheerfully said, "Look, 666!" In light of what already happened, unbeknownst to me, he couldn't understand I was only joking.

394  Anyway, it wasn't long before he was telling everyone at the house I was into Devil worship, and he kept referring to the hexagram inside a circle. And, although this symbol is used in such rituals, though not what I've used it for, the more common symbol is an upside down pentagram within a circle, which he also said I was working with. Apparently this had gone on for awhile, which I wasn't aware of until my aunt approached me and asked if the symbol was the Star of David. And I said yes. This was after she asked my mother, and my mother later asked me, and told me what my cousin was saying. She said she understood it was the Star of David, based upon things she had seen, and this is what she told my aunt.

Dream of Cousin's Cat

395  While at one point I had a dream, which occurred after my cousin and I helped my mother pick up some chairs for her dining room. And he and I were clowning around a bit, sort of challenging each other about who could do the better job. Thus I slept on the floor, and in my dream I also lay on the floor, and I was approached by his black cat, Loco, its back arched and tail raised, challenging me as it neared my face. And I didn't know what to make of it, whether it was going to attack or, if it was just a ruse. But, I knew it represented my cousin and what happened earlier.

396  I still didn't want to take any chances, and when I awoke, I immediately made the gesture of picking it up and tearing it to pieces. It was something I learned to do in order to defend myself against the instinctive masculine forces—or Titans (n5:16)—who tend to shoot first and ask questions later. And I'm reminded of Zagreus—the man renderer (n5:21-22). A moment later I fell back asleep and had another dream. I was walking through a dark city and, as I looked around, in every direction, it was made up of cat parts! It was an eerie feeling, yet I knew it was this cat I tore apart a moment before. And I started getting sucked out to sea, and pulled under by some giant creature resembling an octopus, no doubt related to Poseidon (n101; n14:13). At which point I did all I could to wrench myself awake.

Pentheus and Cats

397  And so brings up what happened when I was a teenager and living in San Jose, California (n3). Someone in my friend Nathan's family (n22) had picked up a stray cat, and his sister Adrian, with its similarity to Ariadne (n4:13), bequeathed his name: Pe-nyn-theus. And while I'm not sure of the spelling, it sounds phonetically the same as what's spelled here. Which is strange, for it's essentially the same as Pentheus! While his sister Adrian said it was Greek, for pain-in-the-butt. An appropriate title for Pentheus? All of which suggests an affinity to Pentheus and cats from the start.

398  Having received such an epitaph, the cat's fate was pretty well sealed. And kids being kids, there were enough things said, by Nathan and other friends, about what a royal pain-in-the-butt it really was! And I, being the tortured soul I was and, in the spirit of one-upmanship, suggested Nathan prove how tough he were—and kill the cat! Which we proceeded to do, much to Nathan's dismay. We first strung it up on the fence and tried to hang it, but that didn't work. So we took it into the brickyard next door, and hiked down into the gully, and proceeded to smash it over the head with some huge rocks. It was a very sadistic act, and yet epitomizes everything that had gone wrong with my life up to that point. The cat was also black and white, and suggests an affinity to the name Dennis (49) (n4:76-77).

The Bacchae

399  And so brings up the myth, for it was about the time King Cadmus bequeathed his kingdom to his grandson Pentheus, that Dionysus appears in The Bacchae. This would be about right, for it was about the time my cousin was coming into his own and began taking on responsibilities on his parent's property. And at the age of 32, after all the other children had gone, he was the only one left to receive it. And naturally, the alarm begins to sound when something foreign comes along and poses a threat. Which indeed is how Pentheus perceives Dionysus when he arrives, and asks the women of Thebes to celebrate in his worship.

400  Dionysus was also charged with punishing the women of Thebes for denying his divinity, by driving them mad, hence the Maenads, i.e., the name given to his followers (n15:11). Which applies even more to Semele's sisters, who claimed Semele didn't sleep with Zeus and, that Dionysus was born out of wedlock, for which they boasted Zeus killed her. And so the women of Thebes were driven off in a frenzy, into the mountains, where they caught up with Pentheus spying on them from a tree top. And his mother Agave spied him first, saying, "Look, a mountain lion!" From which the women rushed over and shook him down and tore him to pieces, as Agave seizes him first and wrenches his head off. Remember the cat Loco? Which by the way means crazy in Spanish, and was actually my aunt's cat, although my cousin named it.

Thanksgiving

401  While the one experience that brings this into focus occurred a few years later, when my mother and I drove to my aunt and uncle's for Thanksgiving. And on the way, as we drove through the countryside, it almost seemed like spring, my mother and I looked across the field at some sheep, and noticed the newborn lambs. And my mother exclaimed, "Look at the baby lambs!" And I had an ominous thought, thinking here we were two lambs going to the slaughter. And I began to think of my cousin's relationship with Pentheus, and how he's perceived as a mountain lion, specifically. Well we drove up to the house and, as we walked to the front door, we were greeted by my cousin wearing a purple T-shirt—with a mountain lion on it! And I was completely dumbfounded! albeit I didn't say anything to my mother.

402  And he let us into the house, and from that moment, until the moment we left, it was all about his new friend he brought over for Thanksgiving. An older gentleman, who was knowledgeable and worldly, yet likeable with a kind disposition—perhaps too kind?—my cousin wasn't accustomed to getting a lot of attention, and he played it all the way up to the hilt. While the fact that my mother and I came to visit and spend time with the family had nothing to do with it. It was all about his engaging friend, who was actually quite cordial and had no problems talking to anyone, which he played upon as he paraded him through the house and, in effect treated like royalty. His name even sounded similar. Of course my cousin was now the royal heir to the throne, and this was his means of making that known.

403  I wasn't impressed, however, nor was my mother impressed. And for the four or five hours we were there, neither one of us said more than a few words. Even if we tried to say something, it was immediately drowned out by my cousin and whatever his delightful new friend was doing. So basically we were ignored the whole time. And, by the time we left, we both felt completely drained, which we concurred when we got home. What was that about two lambs going to the slaughter? (n401).

New Tabernacle

404  Towards the end of November, about the time my aunt told me I needed to find someplace else to stay, I was talking to my uncle's half-brother who owned the mobile home on the property next door, who noticed the symbolism I was working on. And of course asked if I was working with the Star of David, and I said yes. And he said he belonged to some organization, or church, perhaps a bit like Masonry? that studied the ancient tabernacle where the Ark of the Covenant was contained. And he said he had a copy of a book that went into detail about this, and asked if I would like to have it, and I said sure.

405  And I started reading it and it was interesting enough, although I didn't glean a whole lot at the time. But the one thing I understood was the tabernacle was framed out of wood, and a tent was draped over it or, something of that nature. I also believe the tent was blue? And, after my aunt suggested I consider moving and, since I really had no place to stay, locally, I figured I would soon be headed up north, into the wilderness so to speak. And, since it was at the onset of winter, I also had to find something to cover the truck bed, to help insulate it and keep out the elements, etc.

406  And it occurred to me, "Hey, why don't I create a wooden frame and drape a 'blue tarp' over it, like a tent, and add a couple of door hinges near the cab and a lock to secure it at the tailgate," which I did. I also added a layer of carpet padding between the frame and tarp to beef it up a little and help insulate it. And, in fact it worked quite well, considering it cost less than $75 to make, and lasted nearly three years! So, in effect, to the extent I camped out, it represented the tabernacle of the New Church.

Number 23 / Transitional

407  And, being my 23rd residence, why not? For the number 23 represents the base of the triangle (n6:80) as it begins the transition to the third leg which, is ultimately completed at the apex, and signified by the number 31 (n6:80,82). And so portrays the transition from the Church of Noah or second church (n1:24), to the Israelite or third church (n1:25) which, is when the new tabernacle was established in the wilderness. That's pretty plain isn't it? And here I was about to set out into the wilderness myself to further my ideas about the establishment of the New Church in Southern Oregon (n12:1). And of course I spent the first three months in the back of my truck or, tabernacle if you will. While it's funny that California is the 31st state (n4:39; n6:67) and, when I moved back in April, 1990, to live with my mother for another month, it became my 31st residence (n437; n12:75). Thus portraying the third leg of the triangle completed at its apex (31) and, establishment of the New Church.

December 6th / Revelation 12:6

408  One final thing I'd like to say, is I did not lift a finger against these people, physically, mentally or spiritually, except perhaps the incident with my cousin's cat (n395). That indeed everything happened as a matter-of-course, which is probably the most critical thing I can say. For all I did was Tend the Sheep or, tend to my own motives. And so it seems fitting that I stayed until December 6th: "And the woman fled into the wilderness, where she hath a place prepared of God, that they should feed her there a thousand two hundred and three score days." Revelation 12:6

409  While sometime during the interim, between the period after I left and my 31st residence, after I my moved back in with my mother (n407,437), my uncle's half-brother moved out of his mobile home and started renting it to some relatives or, close friends of the family, who, come to find out, were dealing drugs. Whereby people were coming and going at all hours, trespassing on my aunt and uncle's property late at night and stealing things, etc. And, to hear my aunt describe it, I believe it was my aunt? it was an ongoing nightmare. And it still sounded fresh when I first heard it, although I'd only been gone a year-and-a-half.

410  While my cousin closed and locked the swing-arm gate leading to his trailer out back, and got a small but vicious watchdog to keep everyone out. He also seemed embittered by what happened. In fact we rarely communicated with each other after that, and he behaved like he was suspicious of me or, just didn't trust me. Although I'm not sure it was just me. He seemed crotchety and grumpy overall, at least towards my aunt whenever I came over. Perhaps because she continued to entertain me as a guest?

Bad Karma

411  So I began to wonder if this wasn't a result of bad karma, which I do believe in, because of everything he said behind my back which, may have prompted my aunt and uncle to ask me to leave. Although my aunt seemed satisfied when I told her I was working on the Star of David (n394). Nor do I recall them asking me to leave immediately afterwards. I just figured I'd been living there almost four months and it was time to leave. No other explanation was required.

412  Although something funny happened later, after I moved back to California, when my uncle brought something by to deliver to my mother. I was working on a painting for the cover of my book, basically the Star of David, when he came to the door. And without giving it any thought, I walked over with the painting in my hand and opened the door. And my uncle looked at the painting then looked at me with a real funny look on his face. I figured he would have at least asked what I was painting, but he looked really surprised, as if taken aback by it. It was the first time he ever looked at me this way, almost like he was guilty of something. So you never know?

413  It's also a bit strange how my uncle's half-brother was instrumental in bringing this all about. For even though I knew he lived next door, and had lived there many years, with all my comings and goings to my aunt and uncle's house, mostly to bring my mother over to visit my aunt, the only time we ever talked was when we talked about the Star of David and he gave me the book (n404). So that almost seemed like a precedent. Indeed, a very symbolic one. And so coincides with the idea that it was an issue of bad karma and, in fact is what prompted me to consider it.

24th Residence
The Titans

414  A few days after completing the truck bed cover I was ready to head out which, as I said, was on December 6th (n408). And I headed up to Northern California near the Oregon border and camped out along the Smith River, where I encountered the Titans in chapter 5 (n16). I took the North Siskiyou Fork Road turnoff on the right-hand side heading north, about ten miles south of Oregon. As I said I had unfinished business with the Titans here and kicked their butts! (n5:24). A task I managed to complete within the first two days, as I re-examined the past events in my mind, and made various projections, etc., in order to counter them. While I stayed here for close to a month, making it my 24th residence.

415  I also got a chance to check out my new truck bed cover, and for the most part it held up pretty well. Plus I slept inside the backpack tent fastened to the plywood which I had been doing when camping out since my fourteenth residence (n357). While on the first night it snowed, I got up in the morning and tried to open the cover from the inside but it wouldn't budge. The cover was too heavy. And it took me a moment to figure it must have snowed. So I dropped the tailgate and slipped out the back and wiped the snow off so I could open it. Speaking of which, it snowed at least twice while I was there, the temperature was typically below freezing and, at one point at least, for about a week, it felt like it was in the teens.

Gust of Wind

416  I also had a problem one day, where the cover was resting on the bed with the tailgate open. And a strong gust of wind came up and flipped the whole thing back against the cab. Which managed to flex the hinges a little, but nothing else appeared damaged. The cover only weighed 20-25 pounds, and was like a big sail. So that was something to be mindful of.

417  One thing I should reiterate here is my main reason for camping out on four or five different occasions. I had no place to stay. And I would much rather go homeless and freeze or starve to death out in the woods, as opposed to eeking it out in the streets, where people are either gawking at you or trying to disturb you, which I deemed less dignified and even more dangerous. And when I explained this to my mother one day, she got very upset but, that's the reality of it. Yet I actually enjoyed camping out and, except for a few periods where I went hungry, I was like a little kid out on the playfield, reveling in the wonders of Mother Nature. Which, as I said in chapter 5 (n26), helped cure me. Nature doesn't argue with you or try to contradict you like people do.

During the Day

418  As for what I did during the day, there wasn't much to do, in part because it was cold, so I spent most of the time in the back of my truck making my projections. While at night or, during the day if it got too cold, I'd throw one or two blankets over the sleeping bag, and crawled inside and felt relatively comfortable most of the time. Of course I could only lay there for so long, and around mid-morning, typically, I'd lift the cover on the bed, get out and hike up and down the access road for a mile or two. I'd then get back in the truck and crawl back in bed, and either started making more projections or, tried to get some more sleep. But, at least I got some exercise.

419  Around mid-afternoon I'd get out of the truck and hike 15 to 20 feet down the embankment at the river, with backpack stove in hand, and prepared my meal for the day. Typically this entailed a stale box of macaroni and cheese that my aunt had given me and, more often than not, so long as I had them on hand, a can of chili con carne with beans. Whereby I first boiled the macaroni and cheese, added the chili beans, and heated it up until it was hot, and it wasn't half bad. Although the macaroni and cheese had lost much of its flavor and color, for it was way beyond its expiration date. After that, I washed the dishes in the river, with sand, and hiked back up the embankment and got back in the truck.

Women's Voices

420  After dispensing with the Titans in short order, I began to focus on the fourteen images of Gerarai which, in accord with the woman who flees into the wilderness on December 6th, represents the New Church (n408). This is also what the fourteen Gerarai represented to me, which I continued to project for the next two or three weeks, until I was finally satisfied. Unfortunately by then I had all these women's voices inside my head, although they weren't particularly threatening, which I couldn't get to stop! But, as I continued to work on it for the next two or three weeks, badgering them and trying to scare them off, it finally cleared up.

421  That is, until six months later maybe, when my boss' wife at my 26th residence came upstairs at work (n12:31) and, in her usual cheerful voice says, "Hi Dennis!" and suddenly it's like the dam broke and I started hearing these voices all over again. Nor has it stopped since, 25 years later! But then again, since I portrayed my boss as Theseus, his wife according to the myth, coincides with Ariadne's sister, Phaedra or, the Queen of Athens (n4:5; n12:49) who, was set in charge of the fourteen Gerarai. And so it only stands to reason that she be the one to trigger it, for these women's voices represented the same thing. Or, at least this is how I like to look at it. So it was all her fault—just kidding!

422  While like I said above, these voices weren't threatening, but more gentle, although insistent at times—and annoying—and didn't affect my behavior too much, not in a negative way at least. And, being mostly young women, they tended to be naive, and looked at me more as a big brother or, a father figure, and required someone to look after them. This is why I ultimately stopped trying to shoo them away, allowing them to get comfortable hanging out inside my head. Of course I've had to establish certain guidelines, to keep them from interfering with my thinking too much, otherwise it could easily have gotten out of control. Overall though, I have no regrets for allowing this to happen.

25th Residence

Merlin, Oregon

423  A few days before my birthday, on January 10th, after camping out here for about a month, I decided I was about due for a change of scenery, and opted to head up to the Rogue River northwest of Merlin, Oregon (n12:12). It was also closer to Grants Pass, which is where I really wanted to be anyway. So without much ado I packed everything in the back of the truck and fastened down the cover and headed on up.

424  Just over an hour later I arrived in Merlin, and drove along the river on Merlin Galice Road, and found place to park right after passing the Hellgate Canyon overlook (n12:29), just before crossing the bridge. The turnoff was barely noticeable, although I had been there at least once or twice before, and I knew this where I wanted to park. So I turned off and drove down the dirt road to the end, about 200 feet? and turned around and parked my truck facing up the road which, at that point had dropped about 20 feet below the highway. And, since it was in the midst of a bunch of trees, it was fairly obscured from above, and no-one would even guess I was there.

Expired Tags

425  While I parked it uphill because I slept with my head facing the cab, plus my registration tags were expired (n379), and I was only required to display a tag at the back at the time. So, if you approached the truck from the front, and didn't walk around the back, you wouldn't be able to tell. This helped insure against any Oregon State Troopers coming along and noticing, unless they started getting too nosy. Once situated though, it became my 25th residence.

426  Behind the truck was a path leading to the drainage culvert that ran under the highway, that diverted the runoff from the mountains on the other side. The water was fairly strong and consistent for the two weeks I was there, with no trickling, and this is where I went to fetch my water in the mornings. It tasted fresh and clean and I didn't get sick, so guess it was okay. The path then ran along the culvert for at least 15 feet, then ducked underneath towards the end, and ran another 150 feet, through a barrage of shrubs and boulders, down to the river.

Rooster Cogburn

427  This is where I spent much of my time during the day, if I wasn't in the back of my truck making projections. While it seems I made projections here also, while gamboling up down the hillside and along the canyon walls. It's also where they filmed a scene from the movie, All Movie GuideRooster Cogburn (n12:30), with John Wayne and Katherine Hepburn, at the bottom of the rapids after the river exits Hellgate Canyon.

428  On January 10th, on my 33rd birthday, having deemed most of my work with the fourteen Gerarai complete, in accord with my 24th residence (n420) and the 24-hour clock perhaps? (n6:56), I opted to burn the magazine with the fourteen images of Kari. And, similar to the Bible, where things which are sacred are sacrificed and burned on the alter, I opted to do something similar with the magazine, although not quite so ceremoniously. I started tearing off pages and putting them in a pile and started it on fire, and kept adding pages until it was consumed. I did this behind my truck and off to the side, which was parked about ten feet ahead of where the road ended. There wasn't much more to it than that, other than it seemed fitting to do.

State Trooper

429  A few days later I believe, an Oregon State Trooper stopped by and we chatted for about 10 or 15 minutes, about the river, the location, etc., and he was fairly pleasant to talk to. He didn't act suspiciously towards my being there, nor was he aware I had expired plates on my truck. Neither do I recall telling him I just came up from California and had been camping there for the past week-and-a-half. Although I figured he'd probably be back and might start nosing around if I was still there. So I opted to relocate and find someplace more remote, and a day or two later got in my truck and headed two or three miles west. I turned off on a road leading up the side of a mountain, although it wasn't Bear Camp Road a couple of miles further west, which was the coastal route that ran out to Agnes and Gold Beach.

430  When I got near the top of the mountain or, so it seemed, I pulled off to the right into a small clearing that was fairly level, with trees overhanging an embankment leading 20 feet down to a small creek. So I ducked underneath a couple of trees and figured I wouldn't be disturbed. Although there was somebody else staying in their car, which they had parked further up creek. I couldn't see them though, but occasionally heard them when they got in and out and slammed the car doors. But, so long as they didn't bother me and I didn't bother them, I figured everything was okay.

431  I stayed there about a week-and-a-half altogether, and remember listening to the San Francisco 49'ers win the Super Bowl over the radio, and was somewhat elated about that. While over the last few days I started to go hungry, and began to wonder what I should do about it? Either continue to stay there and starve or, go to town possibly and seek assistance. I opted to stay at least for the time being.

Dracula Rising

432  While on the last day, later in the morning, with a thick layer of frost on the ground, an Oregon State Trooper pulled behind my truck and, no doubt saw the expired plates. And yet because I was in the back with the cover closed, and no one was in the front, there was no visible sign of anyone there. So I figured it would be best to get out and let him know, rather than have him snoop around, only to and find me lying there later. So I slowly opened the cover, as he got out of the car and approached the truck, and couldn't help but think I was Dracula rising from his coffin! Of course I don't know what he thought, it just occurred to me and I thought it was funny.

433  When I got out he explained I was on private property, that belonged to some lumber corporation? and said I couldn't stay there. He then proceeded to tell me the plates were expired on my truck and needed to take care of that also. We talked briefly for a few more minutes and he left. So I guess that answered the question on whether I should stay and go hungry or not which, I was more intent on doing than at my 22nd residence (n388). So, maybe it's good that he showed up when he did? While from there I headed back to Grants Pass and got a hold of my former boss (n12:31) and, fortunately got hired on almost immediately. Wow!

Residences 26 through 50

434  After I got rehired, I asked my boss if it was okay to use the company as a residence or, at least let me collect my mail there, and he said yes. And so the company became my 26th residence (n12:47). A few weeks later, after I got paid, I moved into a small cottage along Rogue River Highway. It was a mile or so east of my seventh residence (n148) and so became my 27th residence. This is where I had the dream about the American Indians in chapter 5 (n27). About six months later I moved into a house with a father and his two young sons in northwest Grants Pass, which became my 28th residence. This is where I speak of Roy Masters and the wasps in chapter 6 (n103). While in October I got laid-off and, since I deemed the company my 26th residence, it only seemed fitting that I deem this my 29th residence or, change of state.

Escape Wisconsin!

435  This was further corroborated when I was rehired in January and the company prepared to move. For they rented a big storage trailer to haul things over to Medford, which sat mostly in Grants Pass, with the funniest bumper sticker on back. It said, "Escape Wisconsin." Now I had already drawn the correlation to Oregon, Idaho and Kansas and their respective order, as detailed in chapter 6 (n67) and, as I considered it the 30th move, in conjunction with getting rehired, I began to wonder about Wisconsin, the 30th state. And there was the bumper sticker! While it foretells of the dilemma that lay ahead in the next chapter (n12:50), highlighted by the incident at milepost 46 (n12:53,74).

436  While come to find out, when commuting between Grants Pass (4) and Medford (6) (n12:1,50-53), you were required to take either Exit 33 or, Exit 30 when entering and exiting the freeway at Medford. And, although the Exit 30 route was a little further, it seemed a bit quicker because it by-passed some of the city traffic, plus the company was just over half-mile from Exit 30, due north, as opposed to two miles from Exit 33. Thus correlating with the 30th change of state again! On top of that, Exit 30 was also the Crater Lake Highway or, Highway 62 exit, right after crossing over Bear Creek. And so once again the junction between Highway 62 and Bear Creek, as noted at my sixth and fourteenth residences (n11:153,354-362), as well as at the end of chapter 12 (n76). Thus in accord with the number 78, which portrays the marriage (7) and the honeymoon (8)—and, circumcision—it occurs between the 6th and 2nd aspects of the cross, as portrayed by the number 62 (n6:58).

437  After quitting my job (n12:69-75), I was intent on moving to Idaho, the 43rd state, in accord with the New Church (n3:9). For I saw a beautiful rainbow over the mountain one day, facing east, and I knew this is where I had to go. But this was before I talked to my mother, who invited me to live with her in Santa Rosa for awhile. And, as my 30th move was tied to Wisconsin, the 30th state, it seems fitting that my 31st move involve moving back to California, the 31st state—even more so! I arrived on my mother's birthday, April 7th, and within a few weeks I found a trailer to rent in Forestville. It was also about the time I found a job, the same day? at N.C.I., as described in chapter 8 (n1), and considered both the move and the new job my 32nd residence. Now the thing about N.C.I., is it was in the process of being sold to Weigh-Tronix Corporation, a company located in Minnesota—i.e., the 32nd state (n4:81). Wow! A connection I didn't make until much later, after the Santa Rosa plant packed up everything and moved to Minnesota!

Oregon / 33rd State

438  I worked there as a temporary again for two months, before deciding to leave, and intended to move back to Oregon—i.e., the 33rd state (n6:67). Well the move didn't materialize and about a month later I got a call from the temporary agency and they asked if I wanted to go back to N.C.I. When I got back they were surprised to see me, for they thought I had moved back to Oregon, what I told them before leaving. Which seemed fitting for I had considered it the 33rd change of state. That's four states in a row! From Exit 30, Wisconsin, to Exit 33, Oregon? (n436). And, since my coming back corresponded to the 34th change, it seemed only fitting that they give me a badge, which read, 034! Also, come to find out Kansas is the 34th state! (n6:67). Wow again! I was laid-off a few weeks later though, due to a lack of work.

439  The 35th and 36th states involved the period I was out of work before finding another temporary job that lasted a few months. This became the 37th state. The 38th state involved getting a temporary job at Weigh-Tronix, after it changed names from N.C.I. And here I was greeted by a lady named Joyce, hence the number 38 (n4:1), who was the person I had a problem with when I was let go from N.C.I. in 1987. And although she recognized me, she didn't remember what happened and I figured this would determine how long I stayed. To some extent it did.

440  My 39th state involved renting a room from a lady at work, an Hispanic lady who I really liked. She was several years older than me, but still very youthful, and I portrayed myself as Odysseus returning home to Penelope, hence the number 39 (n4:1). But she was unaware of this, just as Penelope was unaware of Odysseus' return. I stayed for a couple of months but nothing became of it and I moved on, i.e., Odysseus remains only a short time before leaving. While at this time I began working on this chapter.

Rohnert Park

441  My 40th state involved sharing a condominium with someone in Rohnert Park. It was too cramped though, and our schedules conflicted, and I moved a few months later. This was after I saw the roommate wanted listing at work. He also lived in Rohnert Park, and owned a three bedroom house, and I moved in shortly thereafter. So my 41st state involved moving just a few blocks away, where I lived for over two years. This was the ex-cop I refer to in chapter 13 (n53).

442  As for Idaho, and the 43rd change of state (n6:67), I kept telling my mother after I moved back from Oregon I intended to move there, which she found annoying. This didn't materialize either, although I got the opportunity to visit in late 1992 (n6:74). I had since become a permanent employee at Weigh-Tronix and been there about a year when I decided to take a couple weeks off and visit Idaho. Well on the very day I got back, I received my review, which was past due and, due to a host of things beyond my control, it was most unfavorable. So I got upset and quit! It was a bad time to give a review.

Blasphemy

443  As I was still living at my 41st residence, I viewed my visit to Idaho as the 42nd state, for it signified the beginning of the transition period between jobs. Thus when I found a new job a couple of months later, Idaho was now out of the question but, it was something I had to go through. Nor was Idaho quite what I expected. While according to Swedenborg, the number 42 signifies blasphemy (n6:71), and you should have heard the blasphemies uttered from my lips that day! These folks weren't the least bit fair, however, so one has to ask who committed the greater blasphemy?

444  And so my 43rd state involved getting a job at some laser power supply company in Santa Rosa. They signed me on as a contract employee, for three months and, when the contract was up, they opted to let me go. As for my 44th state, it wasn't long before I received a call from Jennifer at one of the temporary agencies, hence the number 44 (n4:1), who had a job lined up in Petaluma. It didn't last more than a couple of weeks but I still acknowledged it as such. The 45th state involved getting the job I refer to in the last half of chapter 8 (n34), in February 1993, regarding Easter. This was located in Rohnert Park. The 46th state was the period between jobs and the 47th state was a temporary job I got working at an injection molding place in Petaluma.

445  The 48th state involved another temporary job in Petaluma, California, and I was intrigued that the number 48 bus took almost the same route I did. Also, one of the people who sat next to me kept talking about how he moved to California from Arizona—the 48th state. That is until he quit or, they let him go? Now what's funny is that after he left, one of the girls from the other department came and sat next to me, and she quit too! And said she was moving to Alaska—the 49th state. Indeed it wasn't long afterwards that my roommate bought another house, in Petaluma, and we moved! It was my 49th move! While it was the same week I quit my job, i.e., it still coincided with the move, and spent the next two months at home.

Aloha, Oregon

446  I didn't have much luck looking for work, nor was I all that interested. I was more interested in moving to Portland, Oregon, feeling I stood a better chance of finding work there (n6:24). And so my 50th residence involved moving to the Portland area. I was also thinking about Hawaii the 50th state, and didn't really expect to find a correlation. But one of the first places I called was in Aloha—i.e., Hawaii, The Aloha State. Indeed it crossed my mind when I called, but the room was already rented and I didn't think much else of it. Besides, it seemed too far away according to the map, as I was unfamiliar with the area.

447  Well I finally found a place to stay in Beaverton, and hadn't given any more thought to Hawaii. But it was a shared rental and I began to notice some of the other people's mail. It was addressed to Aloha? Come to find out Aloha is a subdivision of Beaverton, letters could be addressed to either, and I had moved to Aloha! Although it's pronounced with a silent h, and if pronounced the normal way, people would look at you kind of funny.

65th Residence

448  At the same time it symbolized my relationship with my mother, for in Hawaiian Aloha means both hello and goodbye, and although we said goodbye, I hadn't really left, like other times, and I was really saying hello. Notwithstanding my mother moved up from California seven years later to live with me in Wilsonville, which is where I was working that inspired me to write Julie Beloved in chapter 17 and, where I spent some time in the mental hospital in 1985-86 (n11:274). And, after tallying it up sometime later, it became my 65th residence.