Tall Timber Ranch

36  I'm now going to relate my experience with David, the caretaker in charge of Tall Timber Ranch in Selma, Oregon, that occurred in the spring of 1985. And here, I've equated David with King Lycurgus, the king of Thrace, one of the first kings to oppose Dionysus. And in the myth, Dionysus was driven mad by Hera, before he began all his wanderings. He was later purified by his grandmother Rhea, but no sooner had this occurred, that he was confronted by King Lycurgus, who opposed him violently and with a terrible force. When reading about this I asked, "Who is King Lycurgus? Had anybody ever opposed me like this?" And so I drew the correlation to David, who had confronted me, on more than one occasion, with ruthlessness. Yet it specifically applies to the time I had gone mad, from the problems experienced with my neighbors at my seventh residence (n11:146). While it was essentially the first and only time anyone had done this to me.

Hera and Rhea

37  But before I proceed, I'd like to speak a little about Hera and Rhea, for I was wondering about the relationship between Hera and my next door neighbor, the mother, who didn't seem like Hera's type. I had been thinking about it for some time, but couldn't make a connection. That is, until I started thinking about the neighbor on the other side of me, who I'd already equated with Rhea, though it didn't seem that essential. An elderly lady in her early eighties, she was very independent minded with a lot of fire and spunk—a very feisty woman. In many ways she represented the establishment, in her outdated but conventional view, with its familiar ring to the Titans in chapter 5 (n16). While she was resistant to change and didn't trust many people.

38  She always complained about other professional people—working on her home, fixing her car, doing yard work, etc.—who overcharged her or didn't do the job right. It was something I was well aware of when she asked me for help, as I tried to be fair and reasonable and do a good job. I almost always undercharged her. And I tried not to trample on her viewpoint: being a Titanness, there wasn't much leeway here. Indeed it was this very relationship that kept bringing me back to my senses throughout the ordeal. Swedenborg says such problems are resolved through charitable works, or by doing what is fair and just. And she continued to sing praises to the landlord about me, saying I was one of her favorite persons—even as Dionysus was Rhea's favorite grandson! (18:6). It was probably the main reason why I wasn't kicked out of the mobile home park (n11:195).

39  Yet this wasn't enough to fully corroborate the idea, until one day when it became quite clear. She was always talking about her daughter June and her son-in-law Ted, more than most things. I then realized the name Juno, i.e., June? was another title for Hera! its Roman form. While in chapter 11 (n15), I refer to the name Theodore, or Ted, and its similarity to Zeus! I had developed it long before this. So it's all there! And, while I've typically equated Rhea with Zeus, and had wondered how Hera fit in, I realized Rhea was mother of both, who were brother and sister. And, as mother and daughter, the names Rhea and Hera have a similar spelling. While I suspect it may have eluded me for over two years? for the focus was to remain on King Lycurgus, rather than Hera.

Evil Spirits

40  As mentioned in chapter 11 (n134), I suffered through an ordeal with evil spirits. Being possessed may be too strong of a word, but each time it happened it was like dying: my whole spiritual house was turned upside-down, with any semblance of good appropriated to myself being trashed. And I was in immediate danger of becoming this so-called hideous thing that overpowered me, of doing something monstrous and destructive. This is essentially what it implies, and there's a very real danger it can happen. But first we must understand the nature of evil, or what an evil spirit is, before we can examine this, i.e., who the Devil is (n11). As I had learned to some extent how to diffuse these things, in part because of the relationship above, it wasn't entirely destructive—not that it detracts from what actually happened!

41  Typically these things occurred in my dreams, after I became sensitized to the idea of different spirits dwelling there. And as I believed it was wrong to dream (n18), and that only demons dwelt there, I compared these spirits with demons. Which were of the Devil and not human (n11), and there to tempt and/or possess me. I'm now of the opinion that they were other people, not unlike myself or, necessarily evil. After all, who or what was I in relation to them? Indeed there was a genuine interaction between us! It was more the fear of being possessed which had power over me (n11:134), as I became increasingly traumatized. And these encounters were nearly always triggered when I got upset at someone, during the day or especially that evening! With the resulting backlash, getting possessed by one of these things.

42  It's evident I had been initiated into the process of going mad. And each time it happened, after experiencing a rush of intense feelings, revenge usually, and accompanied by a sense of utter despair—and death—if allowed the little space I needed, I would recover. But I couldn't put enough space between myself and my neighbors, and sure enough something else would occur, to act as a trigger; and on to the next possession. This is when I began my wanderings, all over Southern Oregon, spending half my time camping out, on the tops of mountains, in the woods, next to rivers, along the coast, etc. While I tried putting some distance between my neighbors.

Tenth Possession

43  It was during my tenth possession I believe, I wasn't keeping track, that I seemed to get a handle on the situation. As I got on my hands and knees and cried out to God, and asked for a resolution. I then decided to go to the FHU in Grants Pass and ask for help. But, nobody was qualified: I cried and pleaded with them, the first time I had done this before anyone, being so bottled up. So they called up David Masters who was at the ranch I believe, to talk to me. But he was very inept, and not of the same spirit as his father—who, he decided to call in Los Angeles. Thus when I spoke to Roy, he seemed to grasp what I was saying and comprehended my difficulty with the spirits. And in effect he said I was a searching person, and that my problems stemmed from getting upset too easily.

44  I then asked Roy if it would be okay to stay at the ranch, so I could work for awhile and get back on my feet, and develop something tangible away from my neighbors. There was also a question of the $2,500 tuition they charged, and I said I could only pay $1,000, and the rest at a later date. He consented to this, and told me to go see David at the ranch. One thing I neglected to say, was the $1,000 was contingent on the sale of my mobile home, which I'd put up for sale. It was an honest oversight, for I was sure it was going to sell, even though it didn't. Besides, I didn't intend to stay until I came up with the money, what I intended to bring it up when working out the details. And still, I had an awful lot on my mind!

45  So I seemed to have a handle on the situation at the time, which seems fitting for it occurred during my tenth possession: where the number ten corresponds to one's objectivity. And as my insanity began to subside, it looked like I was coming into the clear. But, like in the myth, after Dionysus was purged by Rhea, it wouldn't last long, for I was about to meet up with David—i.e., King Lycurgus!

Meeting David

46  When we met, I told David I just talked to Roy over the phone and was there to see him about working at the ranch. I don't recall what he said, but I remember briefly trying to explain my circumstances. He then looked at me with a blank stare, and after asking a couple of impertinent questions, I realized I was going to have difficulty talking to him. And I began to think, "Oh boy? What have I gotten into now?" On the other hand when I talked to Roy, who I considered a friend, though we didn't know each other personally, I felt the matter was resolved and I was relieved. So when I approached David there wasn't much to say, and as I didn't know him, I felt uncomfortable opening up. Though we met before, it was of no consequence and I doubt if he remembered me but, I retained how rash he was! There was also a young boy there, who was intent on listening in. He was making me nervous and I asked that he be removed, and David brusked him aside.

47  We talked for a few minutes about things vague and general. He was still trying to ascertain why I was there, while I tried to explain about the evil spirits. And I said something to the effect that I had to die—metaphorically. Again the blank look of disbelief. Essentially in control now, he started to crowd me. Following an outlined course, he was systematic and well rehearsed, and spoke from memory, contrary to what Roy espouses. He gave me little room to respond and wasn't addressing the person standing there—me. And when he touched on the $1,000 I told Roy I would pay, and I said I didn't have it, the accusations began to fly!

48  He was practically shouting in my face, saying I was only trying to rip Roy off. While he spoke of Roy's nobility, and said I was trying to undermine his cause. It's funny how I donated about $2,500 to the FHU over the years but, that wasn't the issue. And he spoke of how worthless I was as a human being and, how I had spit in God's face—all my life! And he said I hated people! He spoke of these and other things and topped it all off by shouting: YOU SWINE!

49  So here he was hacking away, like the limbs of a tree, leaving only the denuded stump. Nor did he seem to be sure of himself: he alternated between a state of viciousness—I'm reminded of a wolf, the way he tore into me—and a state of lukewarm mildness; he seemed to keep changing his mind. He kept touching on these horrible things, before backing off, to see if something less harsh applied. Guilty? before proven innocent? So I stood there and allowed him to berate me, listening to his whole sermon—as he experimented—before I left. Now most of this I've attributed to his defensiveness, of not being sure of what he was doing, together with his fear of missing a meal. So, was this overt display of callousness justified? Of course not!

King Lycurgus

50  After fiercely opposing Dionysus and capturing his army, Lycurgus was struck by Rhea and driven mad. At which point he hacked his own son Dryas, which means "oak tree," to death, when he mistook him for a grapevine or Dionysus. It was a horrifying development, causing the soil of Thrace to become barren. Hence it's conceivable the young boy who was with David and I at first represented Dryas. While the very act of stripping a tree of its limbs suggests, what is barren.

51  Dionysus, who had been hiding in the sea, suddenly reemerged and proclaimed Lycurgus had to be put to death, otherwise Thrace wouldn't recover. Compelled to obey, the Thracians tied wild horses to Lycurgus, and rent him limb from limb: suggesting a divided understanding, as they were wild horses, not bridled. Whereby a divided understanding is no understanding at all, which seems a fitting description of David here.

52  And so brings up the movie, The Shining, by Stanley Kubrick, based on the novel by Stephen King. And here, Jack Torrance, played by Jack Nicholson, is the caretaker at the Overlook Hotel in the Colorado Rockies, who has gone mad and is chasing his young son Danny through the hotel's labyrinth maze with axe in hand. Young Dryas? While Jack had just bludgeoned and killed the hotel chef with the axe, played by Scatman Crothers, who had arrived at the hotel after driving through a severe blizzard to check up on the family. And right at the start of the trip, the announcer came over the radio and said they just closed Wolf Creek Pass, a popular Colorado ski resort. Whereby the connection to Roy Masters and the labyrinth is made, i.e., King Minos (n12:38), together with my connection to the wolves and Wolf Creek, Oregon in chapter 5 (n19), as well as the notion of being possessed by evil spirits. For this is what happened to Jack.

53  And so brings into focus the connection I made between David and the wolf above (n49). Indeed if it wasn't for this, I probably wouldn't be writing about it. While it was some time later when reflecting on this I exclaimed: "This is Lycurgus! And he's the wolfman!" So why this? When I looked up Lycurgus' name, again much later, I found out what it means: wolf work! How strange? And yet another unusual thing occurred on the very day I began writing about it. My roommate, who used to be a policeman, comparable to Lycurgus? came home with a large picture of a wolf, framed and ready to hang on the wall! distributed from a place in San Jose, California, of all places (n11:3). And it was the first time we spoke of anything pertaining to wolves! Was it just another coincidence? (n1:20).

Deucalion's Flood

54  I also have something to relate about Deucalion, the Greek counterpart of Noah and the flood: both Noah and Deucalion were equated with Dionysus. Due to the sons of Lycaon, similar to Lycurgus, and their abominable practice of sacrificing young boys, Zeus unleashed the flood. Lycaon himself, which means, deluding wolf, began its practice, when he sacrificed a boy to Zeus. Duly invoked, Zeus turned Lycaon into a wolf and struck his house with lightning. And, when visiting in the guise of a traveler, Zeus turned Lycaon's sons into wolves, after they tried deceiving him with umble soup: prepared with the guts of sheep, goats—and, their younger brother.

55  This grisly practice was later revived after the flood: where a boy was first sacrificed and his guts were added to an umble soup, which was fed to a group of shepherds. And the shepherd who ate the boy's guts, chosen by lot, began turning into a werewolf: where he howled and hung his clothes on an oak tree, remember Dryas? before swimming across the river and going off to herd with the wolves—for eight years. And, if he refrained from eating men during that time, he was restored to his former self. Remember the correlation to David and the number eight? (n2). And it was well before I made the connection with King Lycurgus.

56  There was one other thing about Lycaon's sons, about their number. While some accounts say there were 22, others say there were 50. And, in terms of Gerarai, both numbers correspond to the 8th or, Justine (n4:83). So, is it just a coincidence that only these three numbers are conveyed in the myth? And, only a coincidence that the number 22 is a primary number I've ascribed to the FHU, regarding their circumcision? (n9:9). While circumcision itself, which occurs on the 8th day (n4:83), represents something similar: removing a piece of the boy's flesh. Just as the number 50, which corresponds to Pentecost, portrays something similar: lifting the veil of ignorance and instilling of the Holy Spirit. And here there are 22 chapters in the book of Revelation, a book of mystical insight. And what of the great big dog I refer to in Justine (8), the wild dog—or wolf—developed long before my connection with Lycurgus and David, Roy's vicious watchdog?

The Werewolf

57  There's one final thing that illustrates this theme about wolves. It concerns what happened when I was a young boy about four. This is when my parents got divorced, which became a trauma to me. Or I believe it was, for I felt the loss of my father and insistently queried my mother of his whereabouts, asking when he was coming back. I even accused her of driving him away. Thus I more than made up for my brother and sister's lack of concern, which I don't recall seeing. I'm not saying it wasn't there.

58  This is when I began to experience a fear of the dark: I sensed some dark strange man lurking outside, the boogeyman, who wanted to hurt me. It was a fear that became heightened at bedtime, when I started to feel his presence in my room. And I remember hiding with my head under the covers and insisting my mother leave the light on in the hallway, and remember sleeping with her several times before that. This is a fear most of us have experienced when we were young, and it's very real, because he's there!

59  It was one night right after going to bed that happened. I opened my eyes and turned to look at the wall and there he was! The wolfman!—or werewolf—staring me in the face! And I winced and shut my eyes real fast, only to reopen them and find him gone. Where did he go? Needless to say he achieved his goal, and got inside of me. Thus I had been introduced to evil, and my idealized state as a child had come to an end. And another child was sacrificed to wolf work!

60  This is a fairly common experience, and most of us have experienced something similar. It may not take the form of a wolf. But we need not get too alarmed, for it's essentially part of our growth. And there's a time when we all come into mischief as children, and become the unruly brats our parents loathe. It essentially happened to me, and I'm sure it's happened to most everyone else. As parents we need to be aware of this, and provide a suitable environment for our children, so it doesn't take root and get out of hand. Again it usually results from some imbalance, or trauma, which opens the door. Perhaps the best way to safeguard against it, is not to put too much of ourselves into them, i.e., live our lives through them, which is after all what we're speaking of: being possessed by another entity! And when a spirit enters a child, it's nearly the same thing, except it becomes a more personalized account—to the child!

Five Roy's and Seven David's

61  As for the Five Roy's and Seven David's, it's significant that I met each in succession. The Five Roy's signify the development of my understanding, which had to come first, before the development of my will: i.e., the sixth, which I had ascribed to myself. And so I'm referring to the period when I came into my own as a man. And shortly afterwards I met David at N.C.R. Corp., i.e., New Church of the Reformed (n11:79). And through his adversarial attitude towards Roy, I most aptly developed my will, after I introduced him to Roy over the radio. He therefore corresponds to the seventh, the coalescence or marriage (n3:6): of the understanding to the will. We later became the best of friends. But then again, David means beloved (n4:26).

62  As for the three Davids at the FHU, I've spoken of their callousness, and how they responded from a sense of defensiveness, not in the same spirit as Roy. And so the David at Tall Timber Ranch, in his wildness, corresponds to the eighth—or honeymoon (n4:83). The eighth commandment says, "Thou shalt not steal." Indeed he was all over me about this. Then David Masters, the ninth, who signifies a state of true intercourse (n4:88): he seemed more straight and to the point and thus more human. The ninth commandment says, "Thou shalt not bear false witness." And in our few encounters, it felt like he was pointing a loaded gun at me and saying, "Well, what is it?" ". . . the truth and nothing but the truth." Then David in charge of the FHU in Grants Pass, the tenth, who was very slick and well rehearsed, more so than the other two. To him I ascribe what is objective (n4:95). The tenth commandment says, "Thou shalt not covet what belongs to your neighbor." (n8:10). And when I approached him about my book, essentially this book, he was notably more neutral, but in a callous sort of way. And when he spoke, the words seemed to flow off the tip of his tongue, yet it was apparent how mechanical he was. He therefore dismissed me—with relative ease—and eschewed me out the door.

63  I've also ascribed the process of digestion to these three, which as you'll see is a quite applicable. To the first David I ascribe the qualities of the stomach: where raw food is taken in and broken down by pouring acid into it—or, the process of ripping things to shreds. To David Masters I ascribe the qualities of the intestines, more specifically the small intestine, which absorbs the food elements (nutrients) into the bloodstream. This is where true digestion takes place. And to the third David I ascribe the qualities of the sphincter, together with the large intestine, which contracts and aids in the elimination of waste, the feces. Indeed if one were to maintain his objectivity through the experience, it can be quite smooth. Thus the digestive process itself is a very nasty business, especially if you're the one who's been eaten!

Joseph and His Brethren

64  All of which brings up Joseph, the eleventh son, who was primarily excrement to his brothers. Which is how I felt after I spoke to the third David about my book: that I was of little importance and needed to be cast out. This was the last time I visited these people, in November 1987 (n11:364), and it's when I wrote the letter to David. And I drew the correlation to Joseph at this time why I first ascribed the number eleven to myself, feeling it was a similar form of rejection. And like Joseph I was cast into a pit, with the evil spirits—and, became the scapegoat. And as it seems no one else was prepared to go through the ordeal, now that I have, it will prove beneficial to everyone. And like Joseph I hold no grudges. As Joseph says: ". . . be not grieved, nor angry with yourselves, that ye sold me hither: for God did send me before you to preserve life . . . to preserve you a posterity in the earth, and to save your lives by a great deliverance." Genesis 45:5-7

65  It's funny how I approached each David about working at the FHU, and viewed them more as brethren or, kindred spirit. And though we each had the same father, Roy, I had a different mother, closer to Roy's heart, and was therefore spat upon: a theme that was realized in the spring of 1988 (n9:8). And indeed, the theme of Joseph recurs throughout the last half of my book. Also, Swedenborg maintains that Joseph and David have virtually the same meaning: the spiritual kingdom itself. And so it seems more fitting that I make the connection between the two.

66  As for the last David, the twelfth, I met him at a homeless shelter in Santa Rosa, in February, 1988: at my sixteenth residence, where I received the 14 images of Kari (n4:10). David was the counselor in charge of the program, and when he interviewed me about staying there, expressed a sincere interest in my work. I showed him some of my early writings and spoke about Roy's radio program. He seemed more down to earth than most administrative types, and more genuine, and I felt comfortable talking to him. He was more of a kindred spirit, and so becomes the point, for he was from San Jose! He had just relocated to Santa Rosa. And having equated myself with Joseph, I equated him with Benjamin, the twelfth son, Joseph's only true brother, born of both Jacob and Rachel.

67  As for Joseph Campbell, I became familiar with his work in November 1988—in the 11th month—with his interview with Bill Moyers on the PBS series, The Power of Myth. This was filmed shortly before he died. But I didn't draw a correlation until 1989, or possibly 1990. As a result, when I added his name it was out of sequence: having reserved the numbers six and eleven for myself, I wondered if only the number six should apply, and decided the number eleven applied to him. A good-natured soul, with the kindest affection towards humanity, he was versed in the diversity of religion and culture worldwide, both past and present. Anyone familiar with his work can attest to this. And it's through him I believe, that the world has survived the spiritual drought of the past twenty to thirty years. But, if he were alive today, I'm sure the people of the FHU would have nothing but uncomplimentary things to say: due to his views on sexuality and plurality of God. And yet Joseph lives! Today! Through the resurrection. And no doubt as governor—in the spiritual world. It's a plausible idea at least.

The Three Apples

68  Finally I'd like to relate the experience I had when I left Grants Pass, a couple of weeks after I talked to David at the FHU. But first I'd like to speak of what occurred when I arrived earlier that November. I went to the local Safeway store and bought three apples. And after taking them back to my hotel room I remember thinking how extraordinary they looked. They were large and full, with perfect shape and color, perhaps the most perfect apples I'd seen! I held on to them for about three weeks (21 days), until it was time to leave.

69  Thus while driving down Highway 199 to California, I began thinking of Joseph and how he was banished from the land of Canaan. As I neared the border, within a mile or two, I spotted what appeared to be three sheep from a distance. They had gotten out of the fence and were running along the highway. But as I drew closer, they weren't sheep at all, in fact they were three pigs! When I got to the agricultural inspection station at the border, I reported it to the ranger. He said he'd radio it in to the Oregon State people. He then proceeded to ask me what fruits and vegetables I had to declare. Remembering the apples, which I forgot I had, I said I had the three apples and proceeded to get them out. When I presented them to him I exclaimed: Three apples for three swine! And we both chuckled. Of course he wasn't aware of what I was thinking at that moment. Indeed the three David's would appear to be sheep—from a distance! And later, when I returned to Southern Oregon in the summer of 1988 (n11:367), it only seemed fitting that I camp out along the Applegate River. Remember Watergate?